My Christmas Letter

Dear Friends:

I hope that this letter finds you just as boring and socially awkward as we remember you. Our family has absolutely excelled this year, but since you know us, you probably assumed that already and most of this is predictable. Our vacations were fabulous and we won a ton of money in the high stakes room at the Casino Royale (Yes, this is in Monte Carlo and not in West Virginia.) Our children had exceptional years as well, although I doubt that this will be the only Nobel prize that they rack up in their lives. We understand that curing cancer is noteworthy, but we expect more than that from their future collaborations.

Since we now have more spare time this year now that we are both retired, we spent a little of it getting to know each other's literary style and knocked out a few bestsellers. The reception to accept the Pulitzer would have been wonderful, but it was the same week UNICEF brought us to Haiti to accept our award for our efforts with the orphans.

And I almost forgot to tell you about our dog. You have probably already seen him on You Tube reciting the alphabet. So cute - and he was a Vick dog we adopted a few years ago.(No we didn't threaten him with his life, he just seemed so submissive and eager to please, it was easy).

Well, it's been great catching up. Looking forward to hearing about how your average family muddled through another year.

Happy Holidays.


BBFN - Fanatticman

Quick Hits

So since I haven't been putting well recently I have been spending time in my man cave practice putting to see if I can discover the problem - to no avail, I don't seem to be making my share. So as I was practicing last night, my wife pops in and I explain to her that despite all of my practice, I am not making as many as I feel I should. So she says, "perhaps you need to channel Kim Jong Il". Great line huh? That little jumpsuit wearing creep who reigned in terror over N. Korea for decades. Yea, the guy who said he shot 38 for a round of golf, which included 11 holes-in-one. He must have putted damn well to shoot that number, and his iron game must have been flawless.

Then there is Rick Perry. Did you ever see a more dazed looking guy when they ask him a question at the debates? How the hell does he get his socks on in the morning without printed instructions? Can you imagine him running US foreign policy? That dumb bastard would declare war on Oklahoma. And who in God's name let Ron Paul out of his Jack-in-the-Box? Talk about delusional. And the scariest part is the amount of wealth being wasted on these campaigns to nowhere. The morons who fund these guys must be as out of it as their candidates. MESSAGE TO FUNDERS: If you need a tax write off that badly, do us a favor and send it to " Save the Aardvarks".

OK, off to the course. I wonder what kind of putting grip that little jerk used.


BBFN - Fanatticman