It's going to be an unusual year and accordingly Fanatticman has divined
some predictions which are certain to create a buzz among the luminati of
futurists. Without further delay, may I offer the following "take it to the bank"
list:
Tiger and Rory - will both go for the Cougars in 2015. Tiger will dump his ski bunny for Tonya Harding who likes to hit people with objects (ala Tiger's divorced first wife), while Rory will find comfort with Nancy Kerrigan who will reprise her famous "Why? Why?" wailing when he once again snaps one out of play on number 10 at Augusta in the final round of the Masters.
Cuba - the recent thawing of relations with the U.S. will spawn a surge in exports of Yugos, Edsels, Studebakers and other defunct autos to the island nation. The streets will continue to look like a moving scrapyard except now they will be more crowded.
Philadelphia Seventy-Sixers - will sign David Robinson to return to the NBA
after he tears up his knee while watching his son on the sideline of a Notre Dame football game.
The Dow - will gyrate wildly between 180 and 180,000 as it becomes more clear that nobody, including Cramer, has a freaking clue about anything related to the economy and the financial markets.
Hugh Hefner - will announce his candidacy for President. In his announcement speech he opines,"Hell, why not? I've done everything else and I wouldn't be able to stand looking at Hillary for 4 years". Insiders suggest that he plans to ask Anthony Weiner to join the ticket.
Apple - will introduce its most useless device ever, the "idon't give a crap"
which attempts to deduce why the user is constipated. I will spare you the details of how the device is deployed.
Russia - as the ruble continues its death spiral devaluation, Vladimir Putin
is seen riding horeseback and shirtless from the Moscow city limits with throngs of pitchfork wielding Muscovites in hot pursuit. So much for this experiment in capitalism.
The Oscars - and in a new category for the Academy, "The Interview" is selected as the winner of "The Stupidest, Most Sophomoric Film To Piss Off A Dictator".
BBFN - Fanatticman
