Game Of Thrones

This is not about the TV series.

I don't know how many times I have heard my wife chastise me as she walks into the bathroom, "Seat Down". Well, like most men when we use the bathroom it is usually most convenient for us to use it with the seat up.

Years ago I did not have to worry about whether it was up or down because I was a much better marksman. But now it is important for me to lift up the seat to create a larger target area. A shotgun is not as precise as a Glock, now is it.

And there is a lack of understanding about the frequency of usage. Men of my vintage, with prostates the size of softballs, go about every two minutes, compared to two or three times a day for women. So naturally the odds are in my favor if I leave it up.  20 to 1, I'll be the next person in there.

Then there is the process itself which can't be rushed or interrupted by thinking about putting the seat down. Think about it: when finished you have got to get Man-O-War safely back in the stable; you can't begin the zip-up before you complete the tuckaway or you could Ned Stark yourself: then you quickly turn away to wash and dry your hands, and now it's too late to put the seat down because your hands are clean.

So I don't know how to resolve this. While I can appreciate my wife's dismay
if she is in a rush and experiences the thrill of cold porcelain once in a while, the price could be way too dear for me to insert a "seat down" placeholder in my faulty memory bank.

BBFN - Fanatticman