Brett

Brett Favre was finally fined 50k by the NFL for not cooperating with the Commissioner's investigation concerning his communication with a female employee of the Jets when he was also with the Jets. This is way too easy an out for the Commish. It doesn't address the key issue of whether Brett sent pictures of little Brett, sans his little Viking helmet, to said female employee.



Here's the line they came up with: "The forensic analysis could not establish that Favre sent the objectionable photographs to (Jenn) Sterger". Come on now guys, this is the 21st Century and all you have to do is watch a few TV crime shows to find out how to prove or disprove these allegations. And why do you think he was uncooperative - he didn't want to participate in a lineup situation with he and little Brett lined up with 5 or 6 other palookas, while Jenn and the Commish yuck it up behind the glass. Not quite the Kodak moment you envisioned when you hit the send button, is it you ol' gunslinger?




What a way to go out Brett - and if your Wrangler jeans are so comfortable, how about doing us all a favor and keep them on the next time you decide to do a cell phone photo spread.





BBFN - Fanatticman

An Airline Crime Against Humanity

Wow - just heard about planes that sat on the tarmac for 11 hours after landing because they couldn't get them to a gate due to the heavy snows. How about hooking it up to a damn Ford 150 pickup like they do in the TV ads. Try something, anything - let them walk to a gate with Saint Bernards in the lead.



Can you imagine the relief when you finally land in tough conditions and then the voice comes over the intercom saying there will be a slight delay getting to your gate - no biggie, you're safe, you're at your destination, so what's a few minutes. Then at about hour four sitting next to the fat guy, and behind the poor mom with 2 screaming kids, you realize that there are no more sharp instruments in your carry-on. This is when you have to get creative and search the plane for other ways to commit suicide. If you could only get the oxygen mask to drop down, that cord might be strong enough for strangling yourself.

It's also a pretty safe bet that all of the booze and food are gone after a few hours, so now you have several hundred people who need to use the four stinking little restrooms for another eight hours or so. There can't be enough air freshener or Purell in the world to keep this stranded sardine can of humanity from smelling like anything but a landfill.

Then as you finally depart 11 hours later they say "and please make sure to check the monitors in the airport to see what time NEXT YEAR your connecting flight will be departing".


Isn't holiday travel fun? At least you got that new tie from Uncle Buster and that crocheted vest from Aunt Flo.

BBFN - Fanatticman

Long Term Care Insurance

Long Term Care Insurance is a really good idea - I think. I signed up for this a number of years ago and so I have spent quite a bit on monthly premiums to date. And it's not cheap. If you are a frequent reader of this blog you are probably saying to yourself that it's a good investment for this guy, no matter what the cost, because it sounds like he could start cashing in on it any day now - he's got to be drooling on his slippers to be concerned with the things he writes about.




And yet I feel that if I get run over by a golf cart, or become frustrated to death by watching C-Span and just fall over in my chair, that I just blew a chunk of money for nothing. At least with regular Life Insurance there is a certainty that someone, your beneficiary, will get paid for the investment. But with this long term care stuff, you're hoping you never need it, so by default, you are happy to be throwing your money away for years, hopefully decades.



So now I am in the process of assessing my entire insurance portfolio. We have not invested in Long Term Care for my wife, but I have a feeling that we should. She has been complaining for years that I am driving her crazy; I always assumed that she was exaggerating but perhaps we should hedge our bets.

I am also going to see if we can bundle our LTC coverage with our auto insurance. That way they can send a roadside assistance guy when you get a flat on your mobility scooter or he can pick you up and get you going again if your onstar device on your walker indicates that you've tipped over. How come I wasn't asked to weigh in on improving health care?

BBFN - Fanatticman

Prescription Drug Warnings

Have you listened to the warnings for side effects for prescription drugs that are advertised on TV? Holy Cow - the conditions these things are supposed to fix can't be worse than their side effects.



There's one ad for a drug called Abilify. I forget what it's supposed to treat (could be memory loss), but anyway I won't be taking it anytime soon. Why if you take this stuff, it sounds like your arm could fall off, or your eyes pop out of your head - I mean the list of side effects goes on so long they have to continue it in the next episode.



Then there's one for an asthma drug where they say something like,"taking this drug may cause death more often than using an inhaler". Did he just say death ?
What doctor prescribes this stuff, Dr. Jekyll? I'm sure Marcus Welby is sticking with the old inhaler for his patients.




And then the prescription sleep aids have another litany of warnings including bad breath, thoughts of suicide and depression. I wonder how they expect people to sleep when they are making them suicidal and depressed - you know suicide can't be good for their refill business. It also says that it could cause you to sleep walk or take a drive during the night which you may not remember. You can bet wives are handing these zombies the keys because they're sick of that bad breath blowing on them for eight hours.

BBFN - Fanatticman

Persuading Kids to Play?

I am really out of it , even more so than I thought. How about this new campaign by the NFL called"NFL Play 60"? Because our kids have become so glued to their electronics they don't go outside and have a pick up football game or baseball game, or play hoops or just run around like little morons like we used to, playing hide and seek or cowboys. When my friends and I were growing up my mother would sometimes have to scour the neighborhood to find us - heck we would play right through the dinner hour and then eat in a hurry once found, and head right back out for more.

So I am a little confounded by the need to coax kids outside. But in this age of texting, and skype and 3D TV, there are so many more options for our kids to just sit and exercise their fingers, instead of their whole body. And you can readily see where all of this leads - the danger of producing an even less fit generation of Americans, a disturbing thought indeed since we are such an obese nation already.

So I guess the NFL should be congratulated for this campaign. Now if they or another organization could come up with a campaign for Congress, you know something like " Think 5" we would really be on to something. Maybe some of our representatives with obese egos could shrink them down to size and begin doing the work they were sent there to do.

Golf Channel

I like to play golf seven days a week. My wife challenged me the other day when she heard me tell someone that I played about 6 times a week. I told her that it didn't sound good to say 7 - don't want to sound like I have an addiction or that my obsessive, compulsive behavior is winning (it actually won a few years ago).




But now that the snow has arrived and shows no signs of leaving very soon, I am reduced to practice putting in my man cave and watching the Golf Channel. Now during this lull between the end of the 2010 golf season and the beginning of the 2011 season in Hawaii, the Golf Channel's programming has devolved into reruns of "Twelve Nights at the Academy"( which has been shown so often it feels like 112 nights), Trump and his self promoting show about how great he is, and the Top Ten show where they have created episodes about Tiger's top 10 girlfriends, er I meant moments, and the best Mickelson choke jobs and similar grist which they will rerun for the next 3 weeks without mercy.




But the most deadly are the constant infomercials for golf gadgets and training aids. If you're not careful, you could find yourself in severe pain by trying to swing a Medicus driver while wearing a V-Harness. Visualize a large pretzel in plaid shorts and golf spikes. Can you imagine the look on the chiropractor's face when he discovers what happened?




I really don't think that Rocco, Gary Koch and Roger Maltbie realize that they could be responsible for serious bodily harm to guys like me shut out from golf for weeks at a time. I'm waiting for a warning from the Surgeon General as an intro to these infomercials as the injury count begins to rise.



BBFN and Merry Christmas - Fanatticman

UCONN and Geno

Great accomplishment by the UCONN women's team. They'll probably go on to win over 100 in a row, but I hope they don't. I am suffering from Geno overload. I can't turn on a sports show of any kind without seeing his mug and listening to his whining comments complaining about sports media. Hey Geno, you just set a record that is probably unbreakable - lighten up! What's going to happen when you lose one - suicide on Sportscenter?





Also, does this mean that every game they win in a row from now on, we will have to be exposed to in depth coverage about each win? Come on - Geno will run out of stupid things to say after the next game, well, maybe not. He's showing no signs of slowing down so far.





The team members are great: happy, confident, loaded with enthusiasm - absolutely super talented young women. So don't misconstrue my comments - this is not a slam against them. But their cranky coach and his tedious demeanor have worn me down. Without Maya Moore you'd be a good team, but not this undefeated juggernaut. So why don't you smile and soak it in buddy? Why don't you stop trying to say clever things about the comparison between you and Wooden and stifle your impulse to be snarky? That's my job. Your 15 minutes has already lasted a few years, and it feels like decades.